A LETTER TO GOD
I realize why our bodies get sick. I understand that from birth we are in a process of decay because of the nature of sin, until you return and manifest your victory over sin, death, hell, sickness and the grave. However, since you immediately healed people who had faith in you, why do you not heal not only me at this time with my issue, but other Believers that have had worse problems - immediately?
Lord for the other Believers and myself, it is not about having faith as a mustard seed - we have that covered. I and other Christians have had the faith of the coco de mer seed (Palm tree seed), which according to the internet is "the largest seed in the world... It can reach about 12 inches (30 cm) long, and weigh up to 40 pounds (18 kg)." Yet, you still allow for the ailment to continue. Sometimes you allow for the issue to persist a long time. I have even seen you permit the circumstance to drag on and then end in death - all to a Believer with great faith and a prayer support group that was diligent about seeking you for healing.
Lord, you have paid the price and a hefty price at that for our healing. You healed people immediately before you paid the price by their faith in you. Then you paid the price and now ask us to continue to believe by faith in you and the price that was paid for our healing. Yet, when I and others cry out to you for immediate results and you do not respond - what are we to think? You say trust you Lord, but when it keeps happening over and over and over again in my life and others - I doubt.
I have heard sermons/teachings on this Lord. How sometimes illnesses may be used to place us on our knees and get us into more prayer. I have also heard that travailing through a sickness can be some sort of lesson to be learned. I don't get this Lord, especially for me and others who daily walk, talk and serve with you.
You must allow these things to occur like this Lord. I believe in you as Sovereign - The in control God. The concept of thinking of you as otherwise is scary and I refuse to go there - my faith and hope battle that mindset. Lord, please help me understand you and your thoughts and process on healing. Oh, and please heal me Lord. In your name I pray, Jesus, Amen.